Six Lessons Learned

As of two days ago, Ariel and I have been in South Sudan for 6 months now.  Officially over the half way point.  It is absolutely crazy to think we have already been in Africa for half of a year.  Some days it feels like I've been here for a week, and other days it seems like I have lived here my entire life.  These past six months have been a period of growth.  I have grown spiritually and emotionally.  And I have learned so much more about myself and so many life lessons.  I want to share with you six of the important lessons I've learned during my six months in South Sudan.

6.  Carrying water on your head is so much harder than you think.  From day one, I've watched villagers carry water, pots, buckets, logs, and pretty much everything else imaginable on their heads.  I made it a personal goal to learn to balance a jug of water on my head.  After dropping many jugs of water on myself and getting soaked, six months later I finally mastered the 5 liter jug full of water.  Turns out, it is all about a slight head tilt to balance out the weight of the water.  Next on the list--the 20 liter jug.

5.  Making faces is the best language to speak.  I am still struggling to learn Zande (the tribal language) and Arabic to use in the clinic.  Unfortunately, the extent of my speaking is still limited to basic greetings and a few medical terms to get by at the hospital.  So with the little ones, I have resorted to making faces as my means of communication.  The kids love to imitate the faces I make.  I love winking at them and seeing them try to do it back.  Another one of my favorites is the fish face.  They laugh so hard when they see me do it, and it makes me laugh even harder to see them try to attempt it.  It's truly amazing how much love and laughter can be exchanged by making goofy faces at each other.

4.  No matter how hard I try, I will never know how to properly hand wash my clothes.  Every Saturday I scrub my clothes and am so proud of my work.  But sometimes the kids see me and they get a kick out of watching me because they say I do it all wrong.  And I've just come to realize that I live in Africa--I have dirty kids climbing over me all day and I am constantly sweating.  It's a fact that I just need to accept.  I will never know how to wash my clothes like they do, and it doesn't really matter because two minutes after I put my "clean" clothes on, they are already covered in dirt and other various unknown substances.

3.  Love and a bandage can fix any wound.  Each day during short break at the school, I have a line of kids waiting to have their wounds cleaned and wrapped.  Day after day the same kids come, along with a few new ones each day.  It really is amazing to see the physical healing process, to see the wounds get smaller and smaller.  But I've come to realize that this time I've been blessed with to bandage wounds is a call to love these kids and bandage more than just their physical wounds.  Some days I feel like I can't stand to see another dirty leg with a huge wound, but when I think that I've given everything physically possible to help clean and heal the wounds, there is always more love to give.

2.  African time is definitely a thing.  If you are supposed to be in a meeting at noon, it actually won't start until at least 2pm.  If somebody tells you they are "just near," it actually means they will be there in an hour.  When the morning Church bells go off, I know I have 15 more minutes to sleep because Mass never starts on time.  It's the way of life here, and I've come to accept and embrace it.  People are more concerned about personal relationships with one another than a time table.  This one has been an adjustment for me and sometimes challenges my flexibility, but it has forced me to focus more on the people around me and my friendships with them than constantly looking at my watch.

1.  Be present.  Recently, I've been more and more aware of this point.  I've been researching graduate schools and thinking of what will happen come August.  Although these are important things to know, I feel like they have been making me focus too much on the future instead of living in the present.  The Gospel today reinforced this more than ever.  I felt like God was talking directly to me when the Gospel said, "Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself."  I'm trying to do my best to live each day fully, to love these kids in every present moment, and to leave the future and my anxieties and worries about it to God.

These are only a few of the many, many things I have learned about myself and about life here over the past six months.  The kids are constantly teaching me new things and making me view the world through different eyes.  Hopefully these lessons that I've learned and the new learning experiences to come will help make the next six months even more fruitful.     

Home Sweet Home

Happy to be going home!

 About five weeks after I originally left, I am finally back in South Sudan!  As soon as I got out of the car after another ten hour roller coaster ride from Juba, I felt a sense of peace knowing that I am back home.  I was pretty nervous to see the kids because we had been away for so long, and I was worried they would be angry with us.  But of course I worried for nothing.  As soon as I saw them, it was like I had never left.  I was once again surrounded by the same, only slightly taller, kiddos, and we picked right back up where we left off, joking and playing with one another.    

Ariel and I have been busier than ever, and are quickly realizing how packed our schedules are going to be over the next few months.  I started right away at the hospital.  Nothing much has changed since I was gone, but Sr. Meriline and I are starting to do more home health visits.  This past week, I went with her two afternoons to check up on babies that were born last week.  We went with the birth attendant that delivered the babies.  I got to snuggle with six healthy and precious newborns, and I only got peed on by two of those babies!  I am excited to do more of these home visits and provide follow-up care to those people living in the remote villages.  The maternal and child health program is still slated to start in the coming months.  We have a midwife that will be working at the clinic, but now we are waiting on some supplies to be delivered from Uganda before we can officially begin.  

My new friends in Nairobi

In school news, Don Bosco Primary School opens tomorrow.  This year, the primary school has just over 600 students enrolled.  I still don't know what I will be teaching this year, and when I asked the Sister in charge of the school, she told me that she would tell me tomorrow morning before school starts.  So looks like the first week will be pretty laid back since I won't have any time to lesson plan.  It will be so great to see all the kids bright and early tomorrow morning!

When in Kenya...

The past month has definitely been a testament to the flexibility and fluidity of mission life.  Although it was difficult to leave the kids for an unknown amount of time, I am so grateful for the experiences and the people I met in Kenya.  Ariel and I didn't want to commit to teaching or other work without knowing how long we would be there, so we just did random projects and helped in any way we could.  The place we stayed was a retreat and conference center, and they had a large group there while we were also there.  We helped prepare for the group by doing a lot of cooking and cleaning.  We also helped with the after-school program for the kids from the area.  It was quite different from working with the kids in South Sudan, but they were so welcoming and fun to be around.  The religious community we stayed with went above and beyond to make sure we felt at home.  The rector of the community, who introduced us to everybody as the two refugees from South Sudan, took us to visit the other Don Bosco sites around Nairobi.  It was great to see the amazing work the Salesians are doing in Kenya.  He also took us to do some fun things around the city--watching cultural dances, kissing giraffes, and discovering new places.  I had been watching and reading the news to keep up with the situation in South Sudan.  I kept hearing that things were getting progressively better, but I still was shocked (and SO happy) that we were able to come back as soon as we did.  Although it wasn't the "mission" I had in mind coming into this year, it was equally as fulfilling, and I saw God working in so many people and experiences while there.  I formed some great friendships in my short three weeks in Kenya, and it was hard to leave those people, but it feels so great to be back home where I left a piece of my heart.  

So here I am now--right back in the middle of a crazy, busy, kid-filled life.  I can't even begin to imagine what the next months of mission will bring, but for now I am just so happy to be back in my home sweet home!

Happy Journal

Every night before I go to sleep I write in my Happy Journal. The idea to start this journal came at the very beginning of mission from none other than the most amazing site partners ever--Cait and Grace. It is exactly what it sounds like-a journal to write down one thing that made me happy, made me laugh, or brought me joy that day. Just a few words or sentences each day. Some days it is so easy to remember one key time during the day. Sometimes I even have many things I want to write in my happy journal but I have to pick just one. But there are still a few other days I really struggle to think of something. However, it always happens that when I think over every moment from that day, the small event that I finally remember always has a greater impact on my day than I thought.
 

Lifting weights/shoes with our friends!

With the craziness and the unknown aspect of mission life the past few weeks, I've had so many different emotions. I was really missing the kids and feeling a bit down a few days ago, so I pulled out my happy journal and read the entry from each day over the past (almost) five months. It did exactly what it was supposed to do. It made me laugh and remember the cute little moments in each day that I so often take for granted. After reading through it, I thought I would share some of the entries from my happy journal--some of my joys and little victories from this journey so far.

September 3- Today at football practice the girls wanted to give me a Zande name (the local tribal language). They picked out a word that means "joy." Now they call me Sister Mborago--Sister Joy.

September 18- This afternoon Grace, Ariel, and I did a work out video on the veranda. Soon, three girls came and did everything with us. When we picked up our hand weights they took their shoes off and used their shoes as weights. It was the cutest thing!

October 1- Today the four of us were talking and Phoiza came up behind us and said, "Sister, you said you do not have a native language, but you lied. You were just speaking it with each other." Apparently when we talk fast it sounds like a foreign language to the kids. No matter how many times we assure them, they are convinced our fast English is a different language.

My sweet Ariel--what would I do without her!?

October 2- Tonight it was pouring rain and I was up at the Fathers' house. My first thought was "Oh no, I have my flip-flops on, I'm going to get so muddy." Then all the sudden I see Ariel coming and she had my rainboots in her hand. She is the best!

October 15- This morning Monday and I skipped down the road while holding hands and singing Joy to the World. Great way to start the day!

October 17- Tonight Ariel and I made a cake for Grace's birthday. We started at 4pm and now it is 10:30pm and it still isn't done. Turns out we were trying to light stones instead of charcoal. Maybe that is why the cake wouldn't bake! Oops!

October 29- Tonight Grace and I successfully defeated a rat. It was in Grace's shower so she had a broom and stood on her toilet. She hit it out towards me. I was standing on a table with a mop and I flung it outside. So gross, but so proud of us--small victories!

October 31- Today Thomas and I were dueting and dancing to the song "I Love my Life" (an African song). When we were finished he looked at me and said, "Sister, you aren't American. You are now African."

 

David's favorite pose

November 18- It is really common for kids to bring us fruit, and tonight after rosary David gave me a mango. I took it inside with me and then noticed that he carved "I love Sister T" into the skin of the mango :)

November 21- Today in class I taught P3 how to raise one eyebrow, wink, and curl their tongue. I told them to practice tonight and they will get bonus points if they can do it tomorrow. Such valuable life lessons!

December 13- Today at the clinic there was the cutest little girl who covered her eyes every time I came out onto the veranda. It was the funniest thing. She would see me then immediately put her hands over her eyes and hide behind her mom. Then as she was leaving, I said bye and she got the biggest smile on her face. She kept waving with both her hands and yelling "BYE BYE!" for at least five minutes as they walked away.

My cute little friend, Lino

December 22- Today Lino came up to me and said, "Sister T, today I love you too much." What a little cutie!

January 10- This morning we went to the slums in Kampala. I saw the cutest little girl and held her for a while. I went to paint faces and felt someone holding onto my leg. I looked down and she was standing there. She stayed there the whole time, never letting go, until I was finished and picked her up again.

The little girl I met in the slums-what a blessing!

January 17- Yesterday I told Godfrey I wanted to learn Swahili while I am here in Kenya. Today he brought me 8 pages of English-Swahili words that he wrote for me. He spent all his game time teaching me correct pronunciation. He told me to study the words and he would quiz me tomorrow. (Update- Jan 18- He brought me a paper today and I looked down at it...it was actually a quiz!)

All these little moments with my kids, site partners, and community always brighten my day and make mission what it is.  I just keep counting my blessings and thanking God for giving me these experiences which truly make me happy!

The Great Unknown

So much has happened in the past few weeks, and it is long overdue for an update on what has been going on! My apologies for the lack of blog posts, but it is my prayer that you all had a blessed Christmas and very Happy New Year! 

The time leading up to Christmas was very busy with preparations.  The students finished the school term in early December and most of them went to visit relatives, work on their compounds making bricks, work in the garden, cook, or clean their homes.  I continued to work at the clinic in the mornings; however, with the holiday season, apparently sickness went away!  We were only seeing 10-20 patients each day leading up to Christmas, and so when the patients were finished we closed up shop.  So my afternoons were spent helping the community in any way possible.  I spent most afternoons making Christmas decorations--cutting and coloring paper so we could decorate the Church.  I even got the job of drawing baby Jesus for the manger scene.  Even though baby Jesus looked very feminine this year, He still was proudly hung right in the middle of the altar on Christmas Day.  Christmas time in South Sudan was such a unique and equally perfect experience.  This year there were no cookies, no gifts, and definitely no snow.  But there was so much love, joy, and pure happiness.  I truly got to experience the real meaning of Christmas, complete with a four hour Church service!  We sang and danced, and the kids showed off their brand new Christmas outfits with the biggest smiles painted on their faces.  We also welcomed 26 new kiddos to the Catholic Church through Baptism which was a whole new experience for me.  The mothers stood in line and the priest went right down the line first with the oils and then followed with water.  After Mass, Ariel and I went to a student’s home and we shared a small meal together and enjoyed each other’s company.  Something so simple, but I couldn’t imagine a better way to celebrate Christ’s birth. I saw Christ in so many people and events on Christmas, through people’s generosity and their genuine joy.  This year, Christmas definitely was a celebration, and Maridi truly was the perfect place to celebrate His birth.

Unfortunately the situation at Christmas was not the same in many other parts of the country.  As shown by the many, many messages I have received from family and friends, I am sure you all are well aware of the current situation in South Sudan.  First of all, thank you for your concern and prayers for the people, my community, and the country.  I know most of you are staying up to date with the current news so I won’t go into details.  But fighting broke out in the capital, Juba, a little over three weeks ago.  The effects of the fighting, luckily, have not been seen in Maridi and as far as I know, everybody there is safe.  Before the fighting began, Ariel and I were planning a trip to Uganda for a short holiday and retreat.  Since the school was closed and the clinic closed for 10 days during the holiday season, we figured it would be the perfect time to recharge our batteries before the responsibilities of the New Year started.  We were supposed to return 4 days ago, but here I am still sitting in Uganda.  Unfortunately the situation in South Sudan is continuing to worsen, and there is no safe way for us to enter back into the country.  The plan now is for Ariel and me to be moved to the Salesian community in Nairobi, Kenya.  We don’t have any details and are taking things on a day-to-day basis.  We will most likely be staying there and volunteering until the situation in South Sudan calms down and we can return. 

All of this has been happening so quickly, and it has been a struggle to comprehend the entirety of the situation.  There are definitely some blessings in disguise—the fact that we already have safely left the country, and there is still no fighting or tension in the community where we stay.  However, it is hard to think about the sweet kids we left behind.  So many questions and feelings start to flood my mind.  What will happen to them?  When can I go back and see them?  Will the fighting spread to them?  Feelings of guilt because I can leave, but they have nowhere to go.  The only thing I can do now is place all these worries and concerns in God’s hands knowing that He alone can provide, and trusting that He will wrap all my little nuggets in His comforting and protective arms. 

So as you can see things have changed a bit since my last post, but being flexible is part of mission, and I am trying my best to go along with the twists and turns of this great unknown journey.  Although I had no idea that four and a half months into mission I would have to leave South Sudan for the time being, I am doing my best to put my trust in God’s plan as He leads me through the next few days and weeks.  Thank you for your continued prayers and thoughts.  Please keep on praying for the people of South Sudan and for peace in the country! 

Falling in Love

After being in South Sudan for over three months now, I think it is safe to say that I am falling in love.  I received a message from a friend this past week that reminded me of the true meaning of falling in love as Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ explained it.  He said, "Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way.  What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.  It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.  Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."  As soon as I was reminded of this quote, I knew immediately how applicable it is to my current life.

There is always time for a spontaneous dance party!

I'm going to let my Jesuit educational background come out for a minute.  All throughout university, I was taught to live out the Jesuit core values--one of which is finding God in all things.  This may seem pretty self explanatory, but I have found that it goes deeper than a surface-level understanding.  Finding God in each person I come in contact with, in every experience, leads to knowing Him more.  Even though I was repeatedly taught this value and encouraged to incorporate it into my life, I guess I never fully experienced the true meaning.  Since coming here, this idea has been observed in such a full and concrete way.  When I lay in bed at night and reflect on my day, I see God…in my site partners, in activities from the day, in the community, in the beautiful environment around me, and most fully, in my sweet, joyful, mischievous kids.  I don't think I have ever experienced such complete and unconditional love from a group of people that were strangers just a short three months ago.  

The girls preparing to dance for Sunday Mass.

I have found God in these kids, and as Arrupe said, they have quickly affected everything in my life.  They have made me become more focused on the present moment and more concerned about the person who is in front of me at that moment.  Slowly, they have pulled me away from electronic devices that can easily steal away hours from my day, so I can spend time with them and love them in that moment.  I see God in their many self-giving actions and words--when the altar boys come every weekend to work around our compound.  Or when the girls devote hours of their day to prepare dances to enhance Sunday mass.  I see God in the kids when they greet me and ask me how I am because I know it is more than just a "Hi, how are you."  They genuinely are concerned and truly care about how I am.  I see God in the kids when they invite me to their homes after school or on the weekend to just sit and be present with them.  I see God in them when, day after day, they repeatedly offer to share their lunch with me.  I see God in them even when they are loud, can't sit still, and bursting with energy in class and I can't take it anymore--because they are bursting with God's energy and love.  God is undoubtedly present every morning when so many kids gather for Mass before the school day starts.  And to conclude the day, I see God through the kids when we say the rosary and twelve and thirteen-year-old boys lead each decade.  I truly am finding God in all things here, in all aspects of this simple and joyful life. 

Visiting some of our students.

The days are quickly passing and sometimes it is hard to distinguish events of one day from another because I have gotten into a new normal routine.  But one thing is constant and makes every day different-the way I see God in such a concrete way in the children.  In their big brown eyes, bright white smiles, and dirty little hands.  Even though I discipline the kids for disturbing class or if I occasionally rush by kids instead of greeting each one, the kids constantly show me unconditional love every single day…they show me God's love.  It is impossible not to fall in love.  They are the reason I get out of bed in the morning, they fill my evenings with playing and dancing, they keep me occupied on the weekends, and they definitely fill me with joy and gratitude.  It only took three short months, but I have repeatedly found God in these kiddos, and in falling in love with these kids, I have fallen even more in love with God.

Giving Many Thanks

Sharing Thanksgiving dinner with my kiddos!

Thanksgiving was a bit different this year.  My traditional Thanksgiving meal was replaced with a bowl of porridge.  As I was walking to eat lunch at the Fathers' house with the community, a heard one of the girls, Grace, call out in her high pitched, raspy seven-year-old voice, "Sister, you come eat."  Obviously I couldn't resist this invitation.  Here was a circle of kids who probably only ate that one meal the whole day, and they wanted to share with me.  So this Thanksgiving, instead of sitting around a table sharing a meal with my family, I was sitting on the ground sharing a meal with my new family--my South Sudanese munchkins.  And instead of getting up super early to wait in long lines on "Black Friday," I got to get up early to celebrate the Eucharist with those same kids whom I love so very much.   

      

This year I was able to put aside the traditional festivities that go along with this holiday and truly focus on what I am thankful for.  And this year, that list is quite extensive.  Every morning for the past three months I have woken up in South Sudan--a reality that has yet to sink in fully.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to actually live out my dream and passions at the age of 22.  I am thankful that I get to spend all day, every day with the most amazing kids I have ever met.  We sing and dance, make up the most ridiculous handshakes, play football, and just joke around.  I am thankful that every day these relationships are getting deeper and more meaningful, and  our conversations are slowly changing from small talk about the day to really getting to know the kids and their hopes and dreams.  I am grateful that I get to bandage the biggest and nastiest wounds on the cutest little kids.  Every day I have a line of kids who come to the hospital during their break at school to get their wounds cleaned and bandaged.  It is truly amazing to clean those same wounds every single day and see how they gradually get smaller and smaller.  

The most amazing site partners!

I am thankful that it is completely acceptable to pick up random babies and just cuddle with them and love on them-at least the ones who don't scream in terror as soon as they lay eyes on me.  I am grateful for the opportunity to teach.  It has been an adventure, but this week I successfully completed my first term of teaching.  There were many ups and downs, struggles and joys, but at the end of the day, I honestly love each one of my students no matter if they chased me with lizards during class or decided to dance on their desk in the middle of an exam.  I'm convinced they teach me so much more than I actually teach them.  I am eternally grateful for the three incredible ladies I get to share this experience with.  I have the most amazing site partners I could ever ask for-Grace, Cait, and Ariel.  Although Grace and Cait leave in a few short days, I definitely will cherish the months we did spend together.  They made my transition here so smooth and all three have been the best support during my time so far.  Who else knows how I feel better than those who are going through the same exact thing!?  And I am grateful, also, for the support of so many family members and friends in the States.  Every week, I get messages and emails from people at home.  Even though they are half a world away, their words of encouragement and advice are invaluable.  

Waiting for me outside my door

I am thankful that I can't walk one hundred feet without it taking under ten minutes.  I am greeted by both little and not-so little kids holding out their hands  with huge smiles painted on their faces.  I am grateful that I don't have any privacy whatsoever, although at times it may seen annoying.  The kids know where my room is, and if they see my shoes sitting outside they will scream my name until I come outside to greet them.  It always makes me smile when I am sitting in my room and all the sudden I have an entourage outside my door.  And I am grateful that I get to end each day by saying the rosary surrounded by teenage boys.  I mean, where else in the world would you find this?  

The list goes on and on.  Although this Thanksgiving was completely different than any other Thanksgiving I have experienced, it was different in such a great way.  As I was sitting down in the 90 degree heat eating the hot porridge with my bare hands, I couldn't help but smile thinking about the incredible life that God has laid out for me and for the blessings he showers down on me each day.  I thank God each day, and especially this Thanksgiving, for these and the many other amazing blessings and for His guidance through this journey so far.  

Under the African Sky

I am always amazed at how God speaks to me through the way He paints the sky.  There is just something about a sunrise and sunset, big fluffy clouds, or the bright blue sky that always reminds me that God is right by my side.  

Each morning I wake up and open my door to the most gorgeous orange and pink filled sky.  And every night as we say the rosary outside, I see the sun setting as it paints bold colors across the sky.  Each sunrise and sunset just as breathtaking and picturesque as the one before-each a sign of God's love and presence.  

Many of you know that I have a thing for sunsets, and so I am sure you can imagine that my camera roll is quickly filling up with pictures trying to capture a mere glimpse of the sky's true beauty.  

The first day I arrived in Juba, I was outside playing with the kids when I saw the sun begin to set and emit it's bright colors as the day came to an end.  I immediately grabbed my camera and tried to capture the moment.  

One of the kids came up to me and said, "Sister, you don't have the sun where you are from?"  I was confused at the question, but then explained that we do have the sun.  He said, "But you are taking a photo like you have never seen the sun before."  I just laughed and then told him my love for sunsets.  He laughed as well, but I am sure he thought I was crazy!  

As the photos keep piling up on my camera, I thought it would be a great chance to share with you all a few pictures of the gorgeous African Skies during my first two months in South Sudan.  Enjoy!