Happy Journal

Every night before I go to sleep I write in my Happy Journal. The idea to start this journal came at the very beginning of mission from none other than the most amazing site partners ever--Cait and Grace. It is exactly what it sounds like-a journal to write down one thing that made me happy, made me laugh, or brought me joy that day. Just a few words or sentences each day. Some days it is so easy to remember one key time during the day. Sometimes I even have many things I want to write in my happy journal but I have to pick just one. But there are still a few other days I really struggle to think of something. However, it always happens that when I think over every moment from that day, the small event that I finally remember always has a greater impact on my day than I thought.
 

Lifting weights/shoes with our friends!

With the craziness and the unknown aspect of mission life the past few weeks, I've had so many different emotions. I was really missing the kids and feeling a bit down a few days ago, so I pulled out my happy journal and read the entry from each day over the past (almost) five months. It did exactly what it was supposed to do. It made me laugh and remember the cute little moments in each day that I so often take for granted. After reading through it, I thought I would share some of the entries from my happy journal--some of my joys and little victories from this journey so far.

September 3- Today at football practice the girls wanted to give me a Zande name (the local tribal language). They picked out a word that means "joy." Now they call me Sister Mborago--Sister Joy.

September 18- This afternoon Grace, Ariel, and I did a work out video on the veranda. Soon, three girls came and did everything with us. When we picked up our hand weights they took their shoes off and used their shoes as weights. It was the cutest thing!

October 1- Today the four of us were talking and Phoiza came up behind us and said, "Sister, you said you do not have a native language, but you lied. You were just speaking it with each other." Apparently when we talk fast it sounds like a foreign language to the kids. No matter how many times we assure them, they are convinced our fast English is a different language.

My sweet Ariel--what would I do without her!?

October 2- Tonight it was pouring rain and I was up at the Fathers' house. My first thought was "Oh no, I have my flip-flops on, I'm going to get so muddy." Then all the sudden I see Ariel coming and she had my rainboots in her hand. She is the best!

October 15- This morning Monday and I skipped down the road while holding hands and singing Joy to the World. Great way to start the day!

October 17- Tonight Ariel and I made a cake for Grace's birthday. We started at 4pm and now it is 10:30pm and it still isn't done. Turns out we were trying to light stones instead of charcoal. Maybe that is why the cake wouldn't bake! Oops!

October 29- Tonight Grace and I successfully defeated a rat. It was in Grace's shower so she had a broom and stood on her toilet. She hit it out towards me. I was standing on a table with a mop and I flung it outside. So gross, but so proud of us--small victories!

October 31- Today Thomas and I were dueting and dancing to the song "I Love my Life" (an African song). When we were finished he looked at me and said, "Sister, you aren't American. You are now African."

 

David's favorite pose

November 18- It is really common for kids to bring us fruit, and tonight after rosary David gave me a mango. I took it inside with me and then noticed that he carved "I love Sister T" into the skin of the mango :)

November 21- Today in class I taught P3 how to raise one eyebrow, wink, and curl their tongue. I told them to practice tonight and they will get bonus points if they can do it tomorrow. Such valuable life lessons!

December 13- Today at the clinic there was the cutest little girl who covered her eyes every time I came out onto the veranda. It was the funniest thing. She would see me then immediately put her hands over her eyes and hide behind her mom. Then as she was leaving, I said bye and she got the biggest smile on her face. She kept waving with both her hands and yelling "BYE BYE!" for at least five minutes as they walked away.

My cute little friend, Lino

December 22- Today Lino came up to me and said, "Sister T, today I love you too much." What a little cutie!

January 10- This morning we went to the slums in Kampala. I saw the cutest little girl and held her for a while. I went to paint faces and felt someone holding onto my leg. I looked down and she was standing there. She stayed there the whole time, never letting go, until I was finished and picked her up again.

The little girl I met in the slums-what a blessing!

January 17- Yesterday I told Godfrey I wanted to learn Swahili while I am here in Kenya. Today he brought me 8 pages of English-Swahili words that he wrote for me. He spent all his game time teaching me correct pronunciation. He told me to study the words and he would quiz me tomorrow. (Update- Jan 18- He brought me a paper today and I looked down at it...it was actually a quiz!)

All these little moments with my kids, site partners, and community always brighten my day and make mission what it is.  I just keep counting my blessings and thanking God for giving me these experiences which truly make me happy!

The Great Unknown

So much has happened in the past few weeks, and it is long overdue for an update on what has been going on! My apologies for the lack of blog posts, but it is my prayer that you all had a blessed Christmas and very Happy New Year! 

The time leading up to Christmas was very busy with preparations.  The students finished the school term in early December and most of them went to visit relatives, work on their compounds making bricks, work in the garden, cook, or clean their homes.  I continued to work at the clinic in the mornings; however, with the holiday season, apparently sickness went away!  We were only seeing 10-20 patients each day leading up to Christmas, and so when the patients were finished we closed up shop.  So my afternoons were spent helping the community in any way possible.  I spent most afternoons making Christmas decorations--cutting and coloring paper so we could decorate the Church.  I even got the job of drawing baby Jesus for the manger scene.  Even though baby Jesus looked very feminine this year, He still was proudly hung right in the middle of the altar on Christmas Day.  Christmas time in South Sudan was such a unique and equally perfect experience.  This year there were no cookies, no gifts, and definitely no snow.  But there was so much love, joy, and pure happiness.  I truly got to experience the real meaning of Christmas, complete with a four hour Church service!  We sang and danced, and the kids showed off their brand new Christmas outfits with the biggest smiles painted on their faces.  We also welcomed 26 new kiddos to the Catholic Church through Baptism which was a whole new experience for me.  The mothers stood in line and the priest went right down the line first with the oils and then followed with water.  After Mass, Ariel and I went to a student’s home and we shared a small meal together and enjoyed each other’s company.  Something so simple, but I couldn’t imagine a better way to celebrate Christ’s birth. I saw Christ in so many people and events on Christmas, through people’s generosity and their genuine joy.  This year, Christmas definitely was a celebration, and Maridi truly was the perfect place to celebrate His birth.

Unfortunately the situation at Christmas was not the same in many other parts of the country.  As shown by the many, many messages I have received from family and friends, I am sure you all are well aware of the current situation in South Sudan.  First of all, thank you for your concern and prayers for the people, my community, and the country.  I know most of you are staying up to date with the current news so I won’t go into details.  But fighting broke out in the capital, Juba, a little over three weeks ago.  The effects of the fighting, luckily, have not been seen in Maridi and as far as I know, everybody there is safe.  Before the fighting began, Ariel and I were planning a trip to Uganda for a short holiday and retreat.  Since the school was closed and the clinic closed for 10 days during the holiday season, we figured it would be the perfect time to recharge our batteries before the responsibilities of the New Year started.  We were supposed to return 4 days ago, but here I am still sitting in Uganda.  Unfortunately the situation in South Sudan is continuing to worsen, and there is no safe way for us to enter back into the country.  The plan now is for Ariel and me to be moved to the Salesian community in Nairobi, Kenya.  We don’t have any details and are taking things on a day-to-day basis.  We will most likely be staying there and volunteering until the situation in South Sudan calms down and we can return. 

All of this has been happening so quickly, and it has been a struggle to comprehend the entirety of the situation.  There are definitely some blessings in disguise—the fact that we already have safely left the country, and there is still no fighting or tension in the community where we stay.  However, it is hard to think about the sweet kids we left behind.  So many questions and feelings start to flood my mind.  What will happen to them?  When can I go back and see them?  Will the fighting spread to them?  Feelings of guilt because I can leave, but they have nowhere to go.  The only thing I can do now is place all these worries and concerns in God’s hands knowing that He alone can provide, and trusting that He will wrap all my little nuggets in His comforting and protective arms. 

So as you can see things have changed a bit since my last post, but being flexible is part of mission, and I am trying my best to go along with the twists and turns of this great unknown journey.  Although I had no idea that four and a half months into mission I would have to leave South Sudan for the time being, I am doing my best to put my trust in God’s plan as He leads me through the next few days and weeks.  Thank you for your continued prayers and thoughts.  Please keep on praying for the people of South Sudan and for peace in the country! 

Falling in Love

After being in South Sudan for over three months now, I think it is safe to say that I am falling in love.  I received a message from a friend this past week that reminded me of the true meaning of falling in love as Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ explained it.  He said, "Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way.  What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.  It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.  Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."  As soon as I was reminded of this quote, I knew immediately how applicable it is to my current life.

There is always time for a spontaneous dance party!

I'm going to let my Jesuit educational background come out for a minute.  All throughout university, I was taught to live out the Jesuit core values--one of which is finding God in all things.  This may seem pretty self explanatory, but I have found that it goes deeper than a surface-level understanding.  Finding God in each person I come in contact with, in every experience, leads to knowing Him more.  Even though I was repeatedly taught this value and encouraged to incorporate it into my life, I guess I never fully experienced the true meaning.  Since coming here, this idea has been observed in such a full and concrete way.  When I lay in bed at night and reflect on my day, I see God…in my site partners, in activities from the day, in the community, in the beautiful environment around me, and most fully, in my sweet, joyful, mischievous kids.  I don't think I have ever experienced such complete and unconditional love from a group of people that were strangers just a short three months ago.  

The girls preparing to dance for Sunday Mass.

I have found God in these kids, and as Arrupe said, they have quickly affected everything in my life.  They have made me become more focused on the present moment and more concerned about the person who is in front of me at that moment.  Slowly, they have pulled me away from electronic devices that can easily steal away hours from my day, so I can spend time with them and love them in that moment.  I see God in their many self-giving actions and words--when the altar boys come every weekend to work around our compound.  Or when the girls devote hours of their day to prepare dances to enhance Sunday mass.  I see God in the kids when they greet me and ask me how I am because I know it is more than just a "Hi, how are you."  They genuinely are concerned and truly care about how I am.  I see God in the kids when they invite me to their homes after school or on the weekend to just sit and be present with them.  I see God in them when, day after day, they repeatedly offer to share their lunch with me.  I see God in them even when they are loud, can't sit still, and bursting with energy in class and I can't take it anymore--because they are bursting with God's energy and love.  God is undoubtedly present every morning when so many kids gather for Mass before the school day starts.  And to conclude the day, I see God through the kids when we say the rosary and twelve and thirteen-year-old boys lead each decade.  I truly am finding God in all things here, in all aspects of this simple and joyful life. 

Visiting some of our students.

The days are quickly passing and sometimes it is hard to distinguish events of one day from another because I have gotten into a new normal routine.  But one thing is constant and makes every day different-the way I see God in such a concrete way in the children.  In their big brown eyes, bright white smiles, and dirty little hands.  Even though I discipline the kids for disturbing class or if I occasionally rush by kids instead of greeting each one, the kids constantly show me unconditional love every single day…they show me God's love.  It is impossible not to fall in love.  They are the reason I get out of bed in the morning, they fill my evenings with playing and dancing, they keep me occupied on the weekends, and they definitely fill me with joy and gratitude.  It only took three short months, but I have repeatedly found God in these kiddos, and in falling in love with these kids, I have fallen even more in love with God.

Giving Many Thanks

Sharing Thanksgiving dinner with my kiddos!

Thanksgiving was a bit different this year.  My traditional Thanksgiving meal was replaced with a bowl of porridge.  As I was walking to eat lunch at the Fathers' house with the community, a heard one of the girls, Grace, call out in her high pitched, raspy seven-year-old voice, "Sister, you come eat."  Obviously I couldn't resist this invitation.  Here was a circle of kids who probably only ate that one meal the whole day, and they wanted to share with me.  So this Thanksgiving, instead of sitting around a table sharing a meal with my family, I was sitting on the ground sharing a meal with my new family--my South Sudanese munchkins.  And instead of getting up super early to wait in long lines on "Black Friday," I got to get up early to celebrate the Eucharist with those same kids whom I love so very much.   

      

This year I was able to put aside the traditional festivities that go along with this holiday and truly focus on what I am thankful for.  And this year, that list is quite extensive.  Every morning for the past three months I have woken up in South Sudan--a reality that has yet to sink in fully.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to actually live out my dream and passions at the age of 22.  I am thankful that I get to spend all day, every day with the most amazing kids I have ever met.  We sing and dance, make up the most ridiculous handshakes, play football, and just joke around.  I am thankful that every day these relationships are getting deeper and more meaningful, and  our conversations are slowly changing from small talk about the day to really getting to know the kids and their hopes and dreams.  I am grateful that I get to bandage the biggest and nastiest wounds on the cutest little kids.  Every day I have a line of kids who come to the hospital during their break at school to get their wounds cleaned and bandaged.  It is truly amazing to clean those same wounds every single day and see how they gradually get smaller and smaller.  

The most amazing site partners!

I am thankful that it is completely acceptable to pick up random babies and just cuddle with them and love on them-at least the ones who don't scream in terror as soon as they lay eyes on me.  I am grateful for the opportunity to teach.  It has been an adventure, but this week I successfully completed my first term of teaching.  There were many ups and downs, struggles and joys, but at the end of the day, I honestly love each one of my students no matter if they chased me with lizards during class or decided to dance on their desk in the middle of an exam.  I'm convinced they teach me so much more than I actually teach them.  I am eternally grateful for the three incredible ladies I get to share this experience with.  I have the most amazing site partners I could ever ask for-Grace, Cait, and Ariel.  Although Grace and Cait leave in a few short days, I definitely will cherish the months we did spend together.  They made my transition here so smooth and all three have been the best support during my time so far.  Who else knows how I feel better than those who are going through the same exact thing!?  And I am grateful, also, for the support of so many family members and friends in the States.  Every week, I get messages and emails from people at home.  Even though they are half a world away, their words of encouragement and advice are invaluable.  

Waiting for me outside my door

I am thankful that I can't walk one hundred feet without it taking under ten minutes.  I am greeted by both little and not-so little kids holding out their hands  with huge smiles painted on their faces.  I am grateful that I don't have any privacy whatsoever, although at times it may seen annoying.  The kids know where my room is, and if they see my shoes sitting outside they will scream my name until I come outside to greet them.  It always makes me smile when I am sitting in my room and all the sudden I have an entourage outside my door.  And I am grateful that I get to end each day by saying the rosary surrounded by teenage boys.  I mean, where else in the world would you find this?  

The list goes on and on.  Although this Thanksgiving was completely different than any other Thanksgiving I have experienced, it was different in such a great way.  As I was sitting down in the 90 degree heat eating the hot porridge with my bare hands, I couldn't help but smile thinking about the incredible life that God has laid out for me and for the blessings he showers down on me each day.  I thank God each day, and especially this Thanksgiving, for these and the many other amazing blessings and for His guidance through this journey so far.  

Under the African Sky

I am always amazed at how God speaks to me through the way He paints the sky.  There is just something about a sunrise and sunset, big fluffy clouds, or the bright blue sky that always reminds me that God is right by my side.  

Each morning I wake up and open my door to the most gorgeous orange and pink filled sky.  And every night as we say the rosary outside, I see the sun setting as it paints bold colors across the sky.  Each sunrise and sunset just as breathtaking and picturesque as the one before-each a sign of God's love and presence.  

Many of you know that I have a thing for sunsets, and so I am sure you can imagine that my camera roll is quickly filling up with pictures trying to capture a mere glimpse of the sky's true beauty.  

The first day I arrived in Juba, I was outside playing with the kids when I saw the sun begin to set and emit it's bright colors as the day came to an end.  I immediately grabbed my camera and tried to capture the moment.  

One of the kids came up to me and said, "Sister, you don't have the sun where you are from?"  I was confused at the question, but then explained that we do have the sun.  He said, "But you are taking a photo like you have never seen the sun before."  I just laughed and then told him my love for sunsets.  He laughed as well, but I am sure he thought I was crazy!  

As the photos keep piling up on my camera, I thought it would be a great chance to share with you all a few pictures of the gorgeous African Skies during my first two months in South Sudan.  Enjoy! 

The Meaning of Mission

   Throughout my short time here, I am starting to slowly learn the meaning of mission.  Before starting this journey I thought I had a pretty good handle on what it meant to be a missionary, but my understanding of the word "mission" is definitely growing and developing into something very different.  From the beginning I simply thought mission was synonymous with doing.  My expectations were that I would be physically doing and performing different tasks:  bandaging a wound, giving out medications, playing soccer with the kids.  Although this is true, my duties go far beyond these surface tasks.  Mission is not only doing, but more importantly, it is being present with the kids and loving them unconditionally.  

This morning in Church reaffirmed this new meaning of mission.  I was sitting behind a little girl about 3 or 4 years old.  For some reason, that is the age group that is most terrified of white people.  Mass started off with her taking one glance at me and bursting into tears while burying her face in her mother's lap.  For the first 20 minutes she gradually started to look back at me to sneak a peak.  Each time I flashed a quick smile and she immediately turned back around.  Then slowly, instead of turning back around she gave me a little smirk.  Before I knew it, she turned around and swung her legs onto the other side of the bench and stuck out her small hand.  I went to shake her hand and she pulled her hand right back towards herself.  She continued to push the limits and see how far she could go.  Eventually by the end of Mass she was sitting on my lap, rubbing her hands up and down my arms, pulling my arm hair, and trying to flick off my freckles.  I'd say we made it a long way from the initial cry of terror.  Throughout this entire encounter, I realized that this is my mission--to be present to each of the kids here, to smile at them and love them, to slowly build relationships with them, to nurture those relationships so that they grow and get deeper with each passing day, and to let them attempt to flick off my freckles if that is what puts a smile on their precious little faces.

Last week was a pretty slow and uneventful week here.  The kids had a week long break after taking their second term exams the previous week.  Last Saturday night one of the kids informed us that there was a public holiday on Monday and Tuesday, so the school would remain closed for those days.  (The majority of the information we get comes from the kids!)  And I am still not really sure what public holiday was celebrated, but school was closed.  On Wednesday it was the best feeling to see all of the kids again.  I can't believe only a week and a half had gone by, but I missed them so much.  Most of the boys spent their holiday harvesting crops in the fields and the girls worked at home cleaning and cooking.  They all seemed very happy to be back at school, and I sure was thrilled to be surrounded by my loving and amazing kiddos once again.  It is incredible the huge impression they have left on my life and my heart in not even two months.  I can only hope and pray that I can also make a small impact on their lives throughout my time in South Sudan.  

So on this Mission Sunday, I am trying to take to heart, even more, this new found meaning of mission.  Don Bosco stressed that "Children must not only be loved, but they must know that they are loved."  He said also that we must work to be a friend- a friend to kids who are poor, kids abandoned, and kids at risk- and in doing so, to be a friend to Christ.  The other stuff, the bandages and medicine and soccer balls, are not the main component of mission.  My mission is to be present and to love.  That alone is my mission.

A Day in South Sudan

After being here for about six weeks, I finally feel like I've found my daily routine.  It is slowly becoming my new "normal."  So I am going to share with you a day in the life of Theresa. 

6:30am: Wake up call.  The church bells go off at this time to alert people that Mass is about to start.  Since I live right next to the church, this has quickly become my handy, dandy alarm clock.

6:45am: Mass begins.  I am always amazed by the number of kids that are at daily Mass.  Most of the kids that come to Mass have anywhere from a 5-45 minute walk to the Church from their house.  It is inspiring to see their dedication and devotion to the Eucharist.  

Morning Assembly

7:30am: Breakfast time.  Breakfast consists of bread, eggs, and usually spaghetti paired with a cup of hot tea or hot chocolate.  After a satisfying breakfast, I am ready to get the day going!

8:00am: School assembly.  The school bell rings sometime around 8-8:15.  The kids gather to pray, sing, dance, and listen to announcements.  I usually attend the assembly and see all the sweet kids before I head to the clinic.   

Grace and I in the dispensary.

8:30am: Clinic opens.  Patient registration opens at this time.  The clinic staff (doctor, 3 nurses, lab technician, receptionist, and cleaning lady) gather right before 9am for prayer.  We just started this practice last week, and it has been a great way to keep the Lord at the center of my work.  The doctor starts to see patients at 9am, so that is also when my duties begin.  For the first part of the morning I mainly take vital signs before the patients see the doctor.  As soon as I finish taking vitals on the patients in line, I float and do whatever needs to be done--giving injections, cleaning and bandaging wounds, dispensing medication, or doing administrative paperwork/filing.  The clinic stays open until all the patients are finished which is usually around 1 or 1:30.  Lately, the daily census has been around 25-30 (not including people coming for injections or wound bandaging).  There is always a steady stream of patients which makes it nice…never swamped, but I always have something to do.  Things will definitely pick up in January when the Maternal and Child health unit opens, so I am embracing the pace of the clinic while it lasts!

Attempting to help plant beans with the kids.

1pm (or after I finish at the clinic):  Lunch!  By this time in the day, I have worked up a large appetite, and I am always ready for lunch.  Lunch consists of a variation of the same main foods:  rice, beans, potatoes, pasta, chapati (flatbread), eggplant, and fruit (oranges, pineapple, passion fruit, and many, many bananas).  I have gotten in the habit of throwing a scoop of everything into a bowl and mixing it all together.  This has been my lunch every day so far, and I still look forward to it every single day!    

2pm: Teaching begins.  The kids have a lunch break from 1-2pm.  They eat a soup that is made of maize which the kids plant and harvest themselves.  They recently planted beans which are starting to grow and will be harvested soon.  After they finish, classes resume at 2pm.  Each week I have seven 40-minute class periods.  Like mentioned in a previous blog I teach science to 3rd grade and arts and crafts to 4th grade.  Both classes are extremely rambunctious, but I love each one of my little nuggets.  I am slowly getting the hang of the whole "teacher" thing.  This past week I completed my lesson plans for the rest of the year which is a huge relief!  

4pm:  School Ends.  The kids usually hang out after school, so I stay with them.  If there is football (soccer) practice, sometimes I join the girls and practice with them.  If not, sometimes I take this time to grade papers or Grace, Cait, Ariel, and I will hang out or I take a much needed nap.  Basically from 4-5pm is free time.

Playing cards with some kids during Oratory.

5pm: Oratory begins.  One of the main components of Salesian spirituality is the concept of Oratory.  Don Bosco stressed the importance of playtime for the kids.  So that is exactly what oratory is--A huge recess for the kids in the community.  We get out the balls and cards and simply play with the kids.  It has definitely been a great way to get to know the children and their personalities outside of the classroom.

Brother Jules giving a goodnight talk to the kids after Rosary.

6:30pm: Rosary.  Oratory ends with the kids coming together to say the rosary.  The little kiddos are in charge of leading the decades, and it is so cute!  We say the rosary in a mixture of Zande (the local tribal language) and English.  I actually don't think I could imagine a better way to end the day than surrounded by my  precious little kiddos praying together.  After rosary, one of the community members here gives an ending story or thought for the kids.  Then we say our goodnights, and the kids start their journeys home.

7:30pm:  Evening prayer with the Salesian community.  The priests, brothers, occasionally sisters, and volunteers gather in the chapel to say evening prayer.

8pm: Dinner.  This has been an adjustment.  All throughout my life I have been a 5 or 5:30pm dinner kind of gal.  So the late dinner is a change, but I am slowly adapting.  We eat the same thing for dinner that we had at lunch.  The cooks make enough food at lunch to last for dinner as well.  Dinner is the time that we all catch up with each other and also catch up on the news (we have a television in the dinning room).  

9pm:  Free time.  After dinner I am exhausted.  But I usually take some time to get on the internet to catch up on life at home., send emails, and chat with friends.  Ariel and I have recently started watching a new television series that I brought with me.  We are already hooked and so we have been watching an episode before bedtime.  It is a nice, relaxing way to end the day.  

10:30-11pm:  Bedtime!  I jot a few notes down in my journal, perfectly tuck in my mosquito net, and then it is lights out for me!  

Each day is filled with work, play, kids, laughter, and so much fun.  Although most days are long, exhausting, and jam packed, I wouldn't want to have it any other way!